J & J report #10

Hello Friends,

from the point of view of the challenge this week hasn't been anything special. No Spend Days 1/7, YTD 22/83. Again I haven't spent money on anything untoward, so all is going well.

I am feeling a bit frustrated about how little non-Uni stuff I am getting done at the moment, even though it is completely understandable when I apply my logical brain and common sense. And focussing on the little things that are coming to fruition (literally) helps. So, although the garden is a mass of weeds and I barely spend any time in it at present, I can celebrate harvesting some apples from our young trees, the fact that there are a number of lemons ready to pick, and that we ate a beautiful dragon fruit (the red, almost purple, centred kind) for dessert this evening - fully ripened on the plant in our own back yard and only picked last night.

 http://www.growables.org/information/TropicalFruit/dragonfruit.htm

I can also celebrate being placed at a very reputable State High School for my teaching placement in May/June. One that is accessible by public transport too. Just what I wanted. I'm very excited.

Further on the topic of focussing on the positives of where you are on your journey, and recognising the positive changes made, rather than continually beating yourself up for not being perfect - I would like to direct you to one of my favourite blogs again "House of Humble" and their post of yesterday "Simple Living Our Own Way". They say it far better than I can (especially when I should either be sleeping or studying right now).

Best wishes for the coming week.

Ravs

J to J report #8 & #9

Well - I missed a week, no major surprise there - the workload from Uni has ramped up pretty quickly with two assignments due at the end of week 5 (just about to start week 4).  I did keep track though, so I can still fill in the update. The data for the previous two weeks are as follows:

Wk 8: 0/7 No spend days, YTD 20/69

Wk 9: 1/7 No spend days, YTD 21/76

As you can see - not so successful this past fortnight in terms of limiting the days I spend. And the main culprit is University. Although I have been taking lunch and coffee most days (I did forget one day, being too intent on getting kids to school on time) I have been finding that one cup of coffee isn't sufficient for a full day of study. If I ignored the days where my only expense was that extra cup then my statistics would be very different (2/7 and 3/7) so I'm not feeling too bad.

I'm still managing well with the Naughty & Nice list, mostly. Another couple of reference books purchased (on sale), and a children's book in support of the charity "Room to Read" that I will donate to the school library. It is a child's version, in rhyme, of how this charity started, with their first delivery of thousands of books to a school in rural Nepal (that only had three books until then, and kept them locked up, they were considered so valuable). Books do seem to be an ongoing theme with me don't they?

We are so fortunate to be able to afford books of our own.

I think I should probably add Charity to the Nice list, it seems selfish not to, and then I don't have to feel guilty about the two charity 'dos' I went to in the last couple of weeks. It is nice to have a night out and support a good cause at the same time, don't you think? We went to a lovely Vietnamese dinner organised by a good friend of ours in support of Room to Read, and specifically girls education in Vietnam (where she comes from), and the next night I went to an International Women's Day event.

The hard part is deciding who to support, there are so many worthwhile causes, but I'm not Bill Gates, and even he couldn't fund them all - so choices have to be made. In the past I have been a regular supporter of the Red Cross, UNHCR, Surf Lifesaving and the Salvation Army. Right now I am supporting The Conversation because independent, intelligent journalism is so thin on the ground in Australia at the moment, yet so essential. Other causes I support on a more 'ad hoc' basis.

How do you decide what Causes to support?

J to J report #7 - And life just got busier

No spend days this week 3/7, YTD 20/62.  My averages are getting better!

I did buy a book for my professional library, not exactly necessary, but of value. Otherwise completely on track this week. Even down to remembering to take along my thermos of coffee and a packed lunch to Uni. So I am pretty happy with myself right now.

I have a very busy month ahead, now that Uni has started back and I have started tutoring a morning a week at the local high school (first day today, loved it!). Unfortunately this means that my blog posts are likely to be short and sweet, starting with this one.

I will say that the decision to change cleaners has been vindicated. The new lady did her first clean here today - everything I asked to a high standard and she took the initiative and cleaned the ceiling fans without being asked. She has even requested I get the step ladder out for next time so she can finish them off properly! I am over the moon.

And with that I am going to have to finish - time to do so preparation for tomorrow.

What went well for you this week?

Ravs

J to J report #6, on the value of Cleaners

No Spend Days this week 2/7; YTD 13/55

I've been debating the value of having a cleaner over the last couple of weeks, given that I'm currently not 'working'. Can we justify the expense when I 'should' be able to get this done in my 'time-off'?

I qualify those words above with single quotes because: 

I am working, or at least I will be again next week, I'm just not in paid employment, I'm studying to change career, to one that will be better for the family long term (and that I want to do as well, I'm neither completely selfish nor a martyr); 

Why 'should' I? I plan all the meals, cook most, and make sure the pantry & fridge are stocked for those meals; organise all the logistics for pretty much every activity undertaken by members of the family; ensure that we maintain contact with family and friends; wash, dry, sort and often put away all the clothes and linen; organise medical, dental and hair appointments for the children; make sure the bills are paid and the house is maintained; communicate with the children's teachers and keep track of their work; volunteer at the school; do most of the planning for any trips we take; make repairs to clothing and other items; organise tradespersons where necessary. I'm sure I could go on.

What 'time-off'? I can always find another job that needs doing. My difficulty is usually getting myself to stop. I have to take myself out of the house so that I won't 'just do that job before I…. stop for a glass of water' (or similar).

Mould, easier to ignore when it is outside and not visible to visitors.

I have come to the conclusion that, for us, having a cleaner (and it's only once a fortnight) is worthwhile, even if I had to go out to work just to afford it, and here's why.

1. I dislike cleaning.

2. I get very tense when I have to operate in a dirty or cluttered environment.

3. I have perfectionist tendencies.

These three points lead to the following scenario.

First, I avoid cleaning. Consequently the dirt in my environment increases. When it reaches a particular level, still far from squalor, my stress levels increase and I get cranky. This crankiness increases because I realise that to reduce the dirt I am going to have to do something I really dislike and actually clean the house. This fight between the need to live in a clean space and the desire not to clean has, in the past, lasted well over a week (before kids of course, the rate at which the dirt accumulates is faster nowadays).

Once I reach tipping point I start cleaning, during which process of course I am extremely cranky, like most people when forced to do something they hate. Then comes the influence of point 3, my perfectionist tendencies. When I start cleaning I struggle to stop, because I keep seeing more that needs to be done. I could spend upwards of three hours cleaning our (very small) bathroom to my satisfaction, because it would mean scrubbing the bath until not only could no grime be seen, but it was completely smooth to touch, the door runners scrubbed with a toothbrush, the walls washed, the top of the cupboard spotless, no rust on the plug hole, the grout white rather than grey - and then I would start to see the repairs and touch ups that were needed.

Then I'll start the next room, which will probably be the kitchen as these are the two rooms in the house where being clean is most important to our health. Can you imagine how long that would take me? A whole day gone, without a break for even a glass of water, and no other 'jobs' done - you got it, I am now cranky beyond all recognition, hating cleaning even more than before, and resenting my family into the bargain.

In contrast, when I have someone in to clean for me, I know that the cleaning tasks essential for maintaining our health, and my sanity, have been done well once a fortnight and that, for the following two weeks I can quickly and simply maintain an acceptable level of cleanliness. If I can stop myself from getting into a lather I can keep the perfectionism at bay and live with what seems to be a relatively normal and socially acceptable level of grime (when I objectively observe my friends' houses). I have even developed the ability to leave the children's beds unmade and lego on the floor and just shut the door (most of the time). I (almost) only get cranky once a fortnight when I try to get my family to help tidy up so our Cleaner can actually clean.

What is your essential, sanity saving expense?

Ravs

J to J report #6 - Naughty!

No Spend Days this week 3/7 Yeah! YTD 11/48

Although I had the best week so far in terms of 'No Spend Days', I had my first slip on my journey of not purchasing unnecessary items.

Now, notice that I said 'slip' and 'journey', I am not seeing this as a failure and giving up on my goals. Not unlike trying to lose weight, give up cigarettes (thankfully something I never started), or stop biting your nails, this is not something I necessarily expect to be completely successful at first time. I may trip on the journey again, but hopefully next time it will take a larger obstacle to make me fall.

What I do feel proud of is that this slip was not an unconscious one. I did not make any 'spur of the moment' purchases. I bought two items I wanted (though don't need) after much thought. 

The first was Emma Dean's recipe book "A Homegrown Table". I have wanted this book ever since she won Masterchef last year, and after reading it at Mum's I knew that there were a lot of beautiful simple recipes in it that I would use. I have already put some in my meal plan for this month, so unless I was going to steal my mother's copy, I had to get my own. I didn't just go out and buy it from the first place I found it though. I looked around thoroughly and eventually bought it at a department store for almost ½ the price that the major bookstores were charging.

The second item was a DVD of a television series that I had missed but particularly wanted to see. I tried sourcing it through the BCC library network, and through video rental stores, but no-one had it. So, after a lot of careful consideration regarding how much I wanted to catch-up with this series, I bought it, and it is one that I will watch more than once.

It is important that we don't berate ourselves for not being 'perfect' all the time, but that we continue to see it as worthwhile to take steps to improve our capacities in the areas we consider important. My elder son used to get upset when he couldn't do something perfectly first time, until we pointed out that when he was a baby he couldn't walk, and that it took a lot of falls before he was fully proficient, and then he went through the same process to learn to run, to kick a ball, to talk, to read ……Learning to live in a new way is no different.

Now - off I go to watch that DVD.

Have a good week.

Ravs

J to J report #5

No Spend Days this week 1/7. YTD 8/41.
Pretty consistent.

I ordered the books. In the end I had to agree with Riley (see comment, previous post) that books are important, especially to encourage the love of them in children.  Separately from book club I also ordered a boxed set of Malory Towers (Enid Blyton) for my niece's birthday, and a book of poetry for the school library. As I explained to Riley in my reply, I do this each time my children have a birthday, it is of far more lasting value than sending 'party bags' or similar to school, and cheaper too. Not that everyone does this (send party bags), but it was common at our childcare centre which was when I started with the book 'thing', and I felt it was a tradition worth continuing, and yet another way to show my kids how much we value books and reading. I would encourage others to do the same - the school librarian will have some ideas about what would be welcome. Imagine if everyone in the school did this - what wonderfully stocked libraries we would have!

So I guess I am amending my 'Nice' list to include the odd book.

I have also been to the movies a few times - this is getting my socialising in before Uni starts back, because I will do almost nothing except study once I start. That is on the 'Nice' list. I have seen 'Saving Mr Banks' about the author of 'Mary Poppins' PL Travers, and 'Philomena' about a lady whose child is taken from her in 1950's Ireland, both moving stories closely based on true events. I also plan to see '12 years a slave' this week. There are so many quality films based on true stories out at present, two others that would be worthwhile I think are 'Mandela' and 'Tracks'.

Coffee is still my downfall, so I have also purchased a decent thermos to take coffee from home to Uni. 6 coffees not purchased from the cafe will cover the cost so it seems justified. What do you think?

How did your week go? Did you achieve your own personal goal for the week?

All the best

Ravs

J to J report #4

Books - my weakness.

2/7 No Spend days this week (7/34 YTD). Better, but I would really like to get my average to 3 no spend days out of 7.

There has been some serious spending though -  all necessary as I am trying to get major tasks out of the way before Uni starts. Feel a bit guilty about the movies & lunch, though that too will disappear almost completely when Uni begins, no time for much once that starts.

I think it is important to realise that there are times where you will spend more, and others when it will be easier not to.  Holidays are a big one, not only because you have time to enjoy all those activities that you have been looking forward to all during term time (or the working year), but also because it is when you have the time to get other tasks done, like painting the house, organising the dental check-ups, getting the threadbare sofa reupholstered. Beating yourself up about it is pointless.

But equally, it is important to stop the unnecessary spending at other times, and this is really the more important part of my challenge - only spending on what is necessary. So far I have been doing quite well, the challenge is really helping to keep me in check. Part of that is committing to blogging about it, I'm trying to do it once a week, as it makes me feel accountable.  If you have set yourself a similar challenge and want a similar prompt to keep you on track, but don't want to blog yourself, how about committing to commenting on this blog & updating us with your progress each week? Would love to hear from you!

I am currently struggling with one particular item on the Naughty List - Books!  I banned myself from purchasing anything but books required for school or Uni, but the boys were allowed one book each from school book club last year, and they are asking for them again this year. And sometimes there are amazing bargains on fantastic books (e.g. <$40 for 10 'My Story' books, stories for children accurately portraying various historical periods) which are hard to resist, as are age appropriate classics such as "The Secret Seven" and "The Famous Five" by Enid Blyton.  I feel torn - between the desire to save money and my love of books and desire to expose my children to the world that books make accessible.

What is your spending weakness?

J to J report # 3 - & 'Stuff'

The last two weeks have been about the same. 2/7 and 1/7 No Spend Days. YTD total 5/26 or about 20% (does that make it sound better or not?). I can say though, that everything purchased was on the Nice list (fist pump).

When I set myself this challenge, and thought about the 'rules', the Naughty and Nice lists, I thought I was being quite thorough, but as I travel the path new questions keep cropping up.

Such as: How do I treat those occasions when I don't spend money, but my husband does? I don't mean when he buys something purely for himself, like a coffee on the way to work, but when he spends money on things that the family needs, like going to get the bread and the milk? If he didn't do it, I probably would (though I might delay it by an extra day & make do ;) ). Or when I didn't feel up to cooking & asked him to sort dinner (the plan was sausages & veges) and he decided to order take-away? I would really appreciate some ideas on this.

I suppose that there are two main aims of this challenge, perhaps three, and I may have mentioned them before: to save some money; to reduce our consumption and environmental footprint; and to reduce our focus on 'Stuff' as a source of happiness and fulfilment, to instil the knowledge that these come from what we do, not what we have. I highly recommend that you visit "The Story of Stuff" (after you've finished reading this of course), and start with the title video, which may have been one of the catalysts, a number of years ago, for me to think more deeply about these issues and start trying to change.

True happiness & fulfilment come from what you do, not what you have.

Part of this, for me, is also about paring back the physical clutter in my life, clearing the house of things that are unnecessary, things that no longer have any use, that just take up space and energy. Now, please don't take this to mean any item that has no practical application, I might be an Engineer by training, but this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the importance of beauty in our lives, and that some things are valuable purely because they provide that.

However, often the 'purely ornamental' things which we keep in our lives, the pictures on our walls for example, actually provide more than just beauty to our homes. As I sit here in my bedroom and look at the pictures on the wall I am transported back to Venice, to a trip with my mother when we met a local artist whose work seemed so much more evocative of the place than any others we had seen but which, as a student, I didn't feel I could afford, and of searching for, but not finding, him in the rain the next day because I realised that his art really was worth it to me. Then of receiving a parcel from my mother months later, after she had found a dealer who sold his work in Melbourne. Of returning to Venice a number of years later with my husband, and looking for the artist again, this time finding his wife and mother instead as they manned his stall, and purchasing two more pieces to remember our trip by.

Behind me hangs a wall quilt, would have served a practical purpose in mediaeval Europe, but not here and now. But this one was made by my mother and has photographs from our wedding on the front, and messages handwritten by our guests and overseas relatives on the back.

Some things might not serve any 'practical' purpose, but do serve the dual purposes of being beautiful and reminding us of people, places and events that made us happy and fulfilled, perhaps even helping us get through those times which aren't quite so wonderful.

Then there are other things, still lovely, and still with some meaning, that still could be classed as clutter. Most of the things in my life that fall into this category have arrived in my life as gifts, and they stay in my life because they are gifts from people who I esteem highly, but they are things maybe that don't quite 'fit' my life. Actually most of these are items that are both lovely and have a practical purpose, just not to me, and therein lies the rub. What do I do? How do I stop them cluttering my home/life without feeling that I am somehow sending the message that the person who gave me the gift is also clutter, when that is not the case at all. The photographs and memories of times we have spent together mean far more to me than gifts for my birthday or Christmas. Maybe if I printed a few out and added them to our photo wall? Or moved the albums to a place where I might pick them up more often?Do you think I could then find more appreciative homes for the beautiful, but unused, gifts?

Talk to you soon,

Ravs.

J to J report #2

This is a lot harder than I expected. Especially the No Spend days. I finally achieved one on Saturday, away on a games club retreat (that is board games, where you actually sit down with real people & have a conversation while playing a game, and possibly exercise your brain at the same time). But spent money again the next day when we had dinner out before driving home.

It seems the kids being on holiday and us travelling around etc makes it harder, it will be interesting to see how different it is when the kids start back at school and then later when I start back at Uni.

No Spend Days / Spend Days: last week 1:6 (absolutely lousy!); YTD 2:12 (the same).

Staying in the nice list is a lot easier, most of the spending has been on food, often only one thing per day, and the odd activity. But last night I fell off the wagon, without even thinking, and purchased a video download. I enjoyed it tremendously, and intend to watch it again in the next couple of days, but all the same……it happened so easily.

I had to go to the shops today for a couple of items, including new bathers (mine have finally given up after a number of years), but this meant I had to walk through lots of racks of sale items. Do you talk to yourself? In your head or under your breath? "You don't need it, you don't need it. Yes it looks nice/interesting, but you don't need it". At least I was conscious of the temptation this time. It helped that I had a specific purpose, and a very short deadline. Similarly when I arrived home the mail had arrived, including a catalog. I took the plastic cover off and put it straight into the recycling bin. In both cases I was able to avoid browsing - This maybe the key to avoiding unnecessary spends for me. How about you, any tips?

So - one lapse in the J to J challenge, I guess that is a pass. What do you think?

I need to add Bus Fare to the Nice list - transport costs being unavoidable for getting to Uni next semester. And postage - I'm not going to stop writing letters to friends. Is that fair?

I'm also not going to count paying bills such as utilities or rates (or bus fares to Uni) as Spend Days. This is because I have set most bills up to pay automatically so I don't even know when they happen, and they are also unavoidable. Catching the bus is more environmentally friendly (and more convenient) than driving the car, but as the cost is per journey for the bus, and chunked for the car I could rig my stats by using the car and not the bus. I don't want to punish myself (in terms of the challenge) for doing the right thing environmentally! Does that make sense?

BTW the video was "Much Ado About Nothing" with David Tennant and Catherine Tate.

J to J Report #1

Hmmm. This is going to take some practise.

Just back from 4 days away with the boys. Staying with friends, so no accommodation costs, but…….

• Petrol - OK unavoidable.
• Coffee enroute - unavoidable if I wanted to stay awake at the wheel.
• Food enroute - could have packed a picnic (the boys would have kicked up a fuss, especially as I was getting coffee).
• Dinner out - polite & pleasant way of thanking our hosts for their hospitality, otherwise I would have gone shopping so I could cook dinner for them anyway, so this one is justified.
• Ice-cream at a local berry farm The Bramble Patch (with fresh berries blended through on the spot) - our hosts suggestion, showing us around their region.  But did I really need to buy the three jars of chutney, two pots of fruit paste and one jar of jam as well? I know they had zero food miles and were supporting a local cottage industry but maybe just two items would have sufficed?
• Fruit at a renowned local fruit shop on the way home - good, we needed the supplies, the region specialises in apples, stone fruit and wine, the fruit was great value for money, very low food miles and supporting local businesses.
• Apple pie and ice-cream at Sutton's - probably not necessary, even if highly recommended by our friends. And then there is the box of different apple juices (I mean a box of 9 bottles)…OK they are pure fruit, no added sugar, no preservatives and delicious, but still. I won't be buying ordinary supermarket juice for a while though so maybe….OK. And we will be going back - it really is THAT good.
• Swim at Warwick pool followed by an icy-pole each for the boys - it's been in the high 30's for 4 days, and it is their school holidays.
• Earplugs - replacement swimming ones because otherwise I can potentially be partially deaf with that swishing noise in my ears for a number of days.
• Pies and coffee enroute home - necessary for everyone's blood sugar levels, and driver's concentration.

No Spend vs Spend Rating: Miserable - spent on 100% of days

Non-shopping Rating: Medium to good - I think that I am going to have to class the chutney's etc as a slight cheat, I didn't need more than two jars of chutney (already on the shopping list at home because we have run out). Food indulgences are obviously something I am going to have to watch.

Still - we did have a lovely time - and that is important too. The motivation for the trip was to take L9 & J6 on their first overnight hike, with our friends whose eldest (10yo) has been on one before, but for whose youngest (6yo) it was also a first. Very proud of all four kids.

Four intrepid adventurers

Meanwhile…..hubby (who I have not insisted be part of this challenge) has been shopping while I was away. I think it fits on the nice list though - as he did a big clear out of his wardrobe, and only bought four quality replacement items, with planned future activities in mind. I get all his worn out t-shirts to repurpose too.

NY Resolution - 'J to J Shopping Challenge'

Do you make New Year Resolutions? I don't usually, though at this time of year I do tend to stop and think about what is important to me.

Just before the New Year I discovered this blog: Frugal in Tasmania and her decision to try to go 365 days without shopping got me thinking. Now it isn't 365 days completely without shopping, just not shopping for un-needed items - you know, 'stuff' - food, drink, essential clothing etc are all OK.

Now I am guilty of buying stuff I want but don't need, just like the next person, often spur of the moment, but I also get quite stressed by 'clutter' and am forever trying to clear the house of things grown out of or no longer (or never) needed in order to clear my mind. How much better not to acquire it in the first place! I also actually rather dislike shopping (aside from op-shopping), the crowds and decisions are a cause of stress.

Too much STUFF! Though, aside from the alcohol (believe it or not), most of this gets fairly regular use. Still wish it were tidier though.

So I think I might take a cue from Frugal in Tasmania and give this not shopping a try, though I am only going to aim for 6 months. I'm calling it the 'J to J shopping challenge'. Along with this I intend to continue to declutter.

So - what is on the 'Naughty List' and what is on the 'Nice List'? It seems important to have some idea (and write it down) at the start - so I can't cheat.

Nice

Food & drink - including coffee with friends, eating out & occasional take-away.

School clothes.

Replacements for worn out clothes, shoes and other regularly used items (if they can't be repaired).

Items necessary for repairs.

School and University books & supplies.

Photo books (I do one each year for the kids).

Children's birthday presents.

Basic toiletry items.

Cleaning supplies (consumables).

Vegetable seedlings & other plants for the garden.

Medicine & first-aid items.

Naughty

Ornaments / Decorations.

Jewelry.

Make-up (exception - replacement of used up items).

Gadgets.

Books (except as required for school or uni).

Clothes (except replacements).

Fabric (yes, this is going to be hard, but I do really have plenty to be going on with).

Tools, including Garden tools (unless absolutely needed for an already planned project, or a repair, and where I can't borrow it from Dad).

Household goods.

Camping equipment.

Games.

Sporting equipment.

Tupperware (even if it is from the op-shop).

Cake at the coffee shop.

Bicycle gear (except for repair & maintenance & to enable us to achieve our plan of independent cycle touring).

Can you think of anything else that I should add? Suggestions welcome.

I will also take another piece of inspiration from 'Frugal' and aim for more days where I don't spend any money than days on which I do. This should have the effect of making me more efficient in my shopping habits, which will in turn reduce the stress of having to go to the shops, the chance of being tempted to make unnecessary purchases, and give me more time for other things.

Intended (and hoped for) outcomes: Less 'stuff' cluttering up our home and our lives; lower stress levels; an increased consciousness about consumerism and needs vs wants; more money saved; less time spent exposed to commercial settings.

I'll try to keep a running record of how I am going here - just like Frugal (though I don't know that my writing style is as interesting to read) - starting with the first two days.

NY day - no spend (not too hard).

Today (2/1/14) - pre-planned spending mainly on items to take my boys for their first overnight hike: extra tent pegs; water bladders; micro fibre towels; water purification tabs; camping cutlery & crockery (this is actually a birthday present); plus iron on patches to repair a couple of pairs of jeans. And a coffee. Thankfully all of these items are on the 'Nice List' as they are replacements for irreparable items needed for an activity that the family participates in regularly, or to enable other items to be repaired.  I also have to go and get petrol, vegetables and medicine on the way home.

Now, I've made the commitment in writing, anyone want to join me for moral support? Or just add the odd helpful tip or comment as I go along?

Here's to 2014!

Ravs